My Mum and me as a baby
Tonight I came across a video on Facebook that I would very much like you to watch (you can watch it below). If you didn’t know I was brought up in foster care, the road getting to that point was an extremely hard one. So much so that I really don’t remember much before the age of 8, all I recall is brief flashes of memories and not very much beyond that. My mother had manic depression (or as it is known now Bi Polar). My mother had a mental illness, I don’t blame her for the way she was, I blame the illness moreso, not all that have this illness though are beyond control of it. Unfortunately for my mother she was unable to stay on her medication which in turn meant she was mentally unstable and in turn meant that my safety was in jeopardy. I won’t go into the horrific details of what led to me going into foster care, not because it’s painful for me (I only remember bits and pieces and what has been told to me) but maybe it would be too horrific for others to read.
I don’t remember the full number of foster care homes that I made it to but three of them do stick in my mind although for two the memories are very scant although I do remember one of the foster parent names from those two. My third foster home I went to just before I turned 8 and is the one I remember the most because Peggy (whom I came to call Gran) became my permanent foster home until I moved into independence at age 17 (with Grans help).
For a time there things were very mixed up, Gran tells me I didn’t know day from night and that I would scream for hours on end, these days, months, years I barely remember. With Grans’ patience and perseverance and as well as therapy I slowly came forth from dark hole and out into the light. Gran made me feel like life was normal again and she treated me as a child of her own or as one of her grandchildren (which she had many of).
At the age of 12 there was a court hearing and I decided on my own terms that I would no longer see my mother, the scars of my upbringing went too deep for us to meld our relationship as mother and daughter. I no longer saw her as my mother but has a stranger who I had no connection to, I still feel this way today. Throughout my time in foster care I did see my other biological family (I have lots of family that live interstate and who I still keep in contact with now) but the last time I spoke to my mother was via the phone on my wedding day, she has now passed away.
Things have changed for the better now and my life holds so much meaning, I have my adoring husband and three beautiful children in it. I also keep up regular contact with Gran and we talk on the phone (or via text) often. Just last year I found my father (who hadn’t seen me since I was a baby) and we now see each other regularly and getting to know each other slowly although that’s a story for another time.
Anyway I would love you to watch this video (both Part One and Part Two) – It’s called Removed and they have a Facebook page HERE